Everyday

I'm back home, all nice and comfy in my room. I had a sudden bout of sneezing just now. This weather is perfect for snuggling up in bed and not waking up till tomorrow. In fact, to do that would not be too bad an idea.

Rain. Now I don't mind rain now and then, but when it rains everyday, and the whole day, then it gets really irritating. We're like just trudging through the wind and rain and mud everyday. A slow crawl. I wonder if this is some kind of visual metaphor for the year.

I like rationalisation. I think it helps a lot in sorting certain things out, provided I have enough time to think it through. And when I'm done, the issue seems less pressing, less troubling, for a while. Most of the time, I simply don't have time to think. And I react too quickly, or badly. Surrender is so difficult when you have so many things piling up against you. Or perhaps I should put it the other way. Is it not easier to let go when you finally realise you can't cope? We are rebels in arms.

It's the second week of school, and things are already so messy. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, getting involved in MUN, and S Paper, and now this differentiated program. I really don't mind if I don't qualify for the S Paper, but what if I do? Will I have enough motivation, willpower, strength even, to see it through? And then there's debates. Such a headache. Having a title is nice, but really, sometimes I wish I didn't, that I didn't have to bother so much. And why do little things bother me so much?

There, but for the grace of God, go I.